Thyolo and the Black Missionaries

Having been very kindly invited down to Thyolo by Bex and Matt for the weekend, I arrived there on Friday evening, courtesy of Bex picking me up. Thyolo was definitely the place to be although possibly not if you were a pig, but we will come on to that later. Two of the Dutch volunteer doctors down there were leaving after 3 years in Malawi and threw a big party in Thyolo Boma. The Black Missionaries were playing (they are Malawi's top reggae band), when we arrived the place was already buzzing and quite a lot of beer had already passed through some peoples lips. Quite early on a rather inebriated older Malawian gentleman was talking to Matt, and as the conversation went on, he proceeded to ask Matt if I was his wife and Bex our daughter, needless to say Bex and I found this highly amusing, I don't think Matt was quite so impressed. (I only found out this nugget on the Sunday but had to repeat it, sorry Matt) The Black Missionaries were really good and we had a really great time listening to them and dancing along, they only stopped in 4 hours when the power went out and fortunately the power failure didn't last for very long. There was much consternation though when the bar ran out of beer, they even had to put a guard on the bar to hold back the crowd, I don't think anyone was going to argue with him as he had a large rifle in his hand. Apparently someone went to get more beer, but I don't think they ever made it back.
On Saturday we went round to the house of the Dutch volunteers for a Braaie. They had had two pigs specially prepared for the party, bearing in mind these pigs had been alive in their garden the day before you might want to turn away from the rest of this post. The cooking / smoking process had started at 4am that morning by the chef, who had also been at the party the night before, so all hail his stamina and cooking ability and they arrived duly presented on two silver platters. OK the platters might not have quite been made of silver.

This is me with Pinky

And here's Perky

My apologies to those of a vegetarian persuasion.
The pork though was absolutely delicious and I was certainly a little piggy myself. Bex had also been busy preparing dishes for the party all morning, and had produced an absolutely delicious semifreddo and beef salad.

On Sunday although the weather was less than inclement, it was very low cloud cover and drizzling (it was just like being at home) we went for a walk around the tea estates, and walked up to the picnic spot, apparently the views from there are amazing and I shall find out the next time I go, weather permitting. All in all a lovely weekend.

A Tactical error

Made a tactical error on Thursday, decided that I needed to go to the bank and get some money for the weekend. Fridays are mad busy at the bank as everyone wants money for the weekend and Saturdays – well just forget it. Having been in to the main branch on a Saturday for sorting things out, where the queue was easily 100 long, I have decided that discretion is the better part of valour here. So I thought, I know I will go up to the Supermarket as I need to get some bits and pieces from there and there is a branch of the bank there. I have an hour for lunch, so 15 mins fast walk each way, half an hour for the bank and supermarket. What could possibly go wrong? What I had forgotten though is that Game (a big store which sells just about everything – it is where I got my tent etc from) always has a special offer day on Thursday's – a free ad paper for Game is sent round on Wednesdays detailing the special offers, and they are queuing round the block to get in. Now the only problem with Game is that you have to pay for everything in cash, paying by credit/debit cards is very unusual here, you can do at the Supermarket but only on designated tills. So needless to say the queue in the bank was on the long side, there were only 3 points open and one of those was for deposits only. Queuing is not my strong point, especially as people here aren't great at recognising or respecting personal space – as an aside it is considered very rude to move away and make space between you even if there is more space. Have not quite got hang of the system here and am sure they send in ringers to stand in line for them, as I swear at least 5 people jumped the queue, they came out of nowhere, when one person got to the front at least 2 different people actually went to the counter in their place. I might have to enquire what the protocol is, do you have to pay for the ringers, and is it alright to sit in the coffee shop whilst they queue for you. Anyway after this had a mad dash round the shop to get a few essentials for making dinner, and decided as the electricity goes off every other night between 6 and 8 that I would cook Fridays meal on Thursday night as well. Then it will only need heating and not cooking. Cunning eh! Thought I was getting the hang of things now, and what happens, low and behold after nearly running home from work on Friday to ensure that dinner was on the table by 6pm for a nice little candle lit affair, no blooming power cut!

A new husband

When walking to and from work someone generally starts up a conversation with you. Some out of genuine friendliness others I am not so sure.

A typical conversation will go along these lines

Good afternoon Madam

Where are you staying, oh that is far. What church do you go to; they then look quite bewildered when I explain that I don't go to church. I generally refrain from saying that my church attendance consists of attending for hatches, matches and dispatches, for two reasons. Firstly I don't think they would understand me and secondly I would not wish to offend. In Malawi religion is very important and people generally associate locating your house by ascertaining which church it is near. The conversations then progress on to what am I doing out here. So I explain that I am a volunteer working at the nursing college and will be here for 2 years. Oh thank you, thank you, that is good and God is great, is the usual reply. Perhaps you would like to come to my church and preach. The conversation then moves onto how many children do I have and am I married. To which I generally answer none, and no I am not, again there are shocked expressions, not so much that I am not married but more that I haven't got children. I am thinking about making up some children, I think they will be grown up and independent which is why I have been able to come to Malawi. The conversation then proceeds in an orderly fashion to where do you come from, and most of the time they have heard of various places in the UK as especially if they are men, they follow the Premiership religiously. Then they start telling me that they would like to go to England someday, is it very expensive to get there, and I explain that it is, and so they say – it will take me a long time to save but perhaps when they come over they can stay with me, especially if they are wanting to study as they will need somewhere to stay for 3 years!! Sometimes like the other day, I had to make up a fictitious husband. This man was talking to me on the way to work and after the usual pleasantries had finished and we were about to go in separate directions, he finished with so how can I contact you again so that we can meet up, I felt the need to say that I would have to check with my husband and see when would be a good time (he hadn't gone through the are you married bit so I had room to manoeuvre here). I wonder is George still available, I think I read that he had split up with his girlfriend recently. Mmmmmmmmm

A new home again

Sorry rather behind on the updates, it has been a combination of events, generally being a bit more busy, and really poor internet connectivity.

After the Easter weekend we moved home again. We are now staying back in Chitawira until the end of May and then moving again. It will be good when we are finally settled hopefully permanently somewhere.

Our house in Chitawira is much closer to work and by taking the short cut it is only a mile or so to the college and hospital. If it wasn't for the cockerel outside my bedroom window I could almost have a lie in.

So here are a couple of photos of where we are currently staying. As you can see the garden is a much more manageable size! Well you will be able to once I have enough internet juice to upload photos.

Easter Weekend at Fat Monkeys

The not very fat monkey at Fat Monkeys

To the left is the resturant area and on the left the bar

The boat that took us to Tumbi Island which you can see in the background

Lunch being prepared

Wishing I had an underwater camera

On Good Friday was picked up from the house by Bex and Matt in their lovely new car ready to drive to Fat Monkeys at Cape McLear on the southern end of Lake Malawi. After a very uneventful 3.5 hour drive, we arrived at Fat Monkeys. After putting up the tents, it was time for a swim in the lake, and the drinks in the bar. This pretty much set the scene for the next couple of days. On Friday evening we went to hiccups restaurant for dinner, and I think rather overtaxed the chefs there as it took 2 hours from ordering to actually getting our food, I know there were 16 of us, but really I could have bitten the arm of the waiter if he had stood long enough beside me by the time dinner did arrive. The bizarre thing is, we went back there on Sunday night for dinner, it was during the middle of a power cut and got our dinner in 45 mins. Half the restaurants in the village were not serving due to lack of power. The food however was very nice when it did arrive.

On the Saturday we arranged for a boat to take us out to Tumbi Island for the afternoon, and just have an afternoon relaxing on the rocks in the sun, whilst lunch was being cooked for us. Snorkelling equipment was also provided and it made me wish that I could scuba dive, just the little bit of fish life I saw down there was amazing, beautifully coloured fish, bright blues and yellows, I also wished I had an underwater camera.

Some of the wild life is really amazing and I just wish I could capture it better.

After a full English breakfast on Monday morning it was back to Blantyre and getting ready for another week at work – yes I do work here and as time goes on will tell you more about it but it is early days as yet.

Practicing with my new tent

Prior to the Easter weekend, I had wondered off to Game during the lunch hour to purchase a tent and mattress for the forthcoming weekend away. In one of those bizarre coincidences bumped into two fellow volunteers who were doing the exact same thing. Game is a big chain store, although if there is only one can you describe it as a chain, but anyway, it is SA owned company (so there must be some there), and it is the sort of place where you can buy just about everything, so it is not suprising that you will bump into your fellow volunteers there. There is a bit of a standing joke between a few of us when discussing purchases 1. That it inevitably comes from Game and 2. When you ask how much it costs – 4000Mk, as everything always seems to be 4000Mk. Sadly not my tent and mattress though.

I decided that it would be a good idea prior to going away and then finding out that half the tent was missing, to practice putting it up in the garden. I managed to put the tent up without too much difficulty and all parts were present and correct. Discovered though that although it is described as a 2 person dome tent, what it doesn't say that the 2 people can't be any bigger than 2 foot by 1 foot. 2 person my eye. Just as well I wasn't planning on sharing it. I also tried out the blow up mattress, and worked out that there is no way that it can be blown up outside the tent, but would have to be blown up inside the tent, but that I would have to be outside the tent to achieve this. So intent was my concentration – camping has never been my forte, that I didn't notice the black clouds amassing overhead and my first inkling of the looming peril was the clap of thunder. Hurriedly took the tent down and brought it inside the house to put back in the tent bag.

I’ll get you my pretty ones

Except there is nothing pretty about them. I am currently being haunted by millions of tiny little ants. The little tykes are everywhere. We have them in the kitchen and the bathroom (what they find so appetising about a bar of soap is beyond me) they are outside the house on the patio. As we doom them I am sure their death cries are "we are done for lads send reinforcements". I swear I can hear them hatching plans on how they are going to annoy me the most. They have succeeded they are now even following me to work. I now keep imagining them on me, and every time I feel an itch or even a small breeze against my skin I am convinced it's an ant. If it wasn't for the fact that my housemate is also complaining about them I would be worried that the larium side effects were kicking in. Oh wait she's on it too. Perhaps we are having the same hallucinations. And I thought the biggest problem with insects would be the mosquitoes. Wrong again.