A new husband

When walking to and from work someone generally starts up a conversation with you. Some out of genuine friendliness others I am not so sure.

A typical conversation will go along these lines

Good afternoon Madam

Where are you staying, oh that is far. What church do you go to; they then look quite bewildered when I explain that I don't go to church. I generally refrain from saying that my church attendance consists of attending for hatches, matches and dispatches, for two reasons. Firstly I don't think they would understand me and secondly I would not wish to offend. In Malawi religion is very important and people generally associate locating your house by ascertaining which church it is near. The conversations then progress on to what am I doing out here. So I explain that I am a volunteer working at the nursing college and will be here for 2 years. Oh thank you, thank you, that is good and God is great, is the usual reply. Perhaps you would like to come to my church and preach. The conversation then moves onto how many children do I have and am I married. To which I generally answer none, and no I am not, again there are shocked expressions, not so much that I am not married but more that I haven't got children. I am thinking about making up some children, I think they will be grown up and independent which is why I have been able to come to Malawi. The conversation then proceeds in an orderly fashion to where do you come from, and most of the time they have heard of various places in the UK as especially if they are men, they follow the Premiership religiously. Then they start telling me that they would like to go to England someday, is it very expensive to get there, and I explain that it is, and so they say – it will take me a long time to save but perhaps when they come over they can stay with me, especially if they are wanting to study as they will need somewhere to stay for 3 years!! Sometimes like the other day, I had to make up a fictitious husband. This man was talking to me on the way to work and after the usual pleasantries had finished and we were about to go in separate directions, he finished with so how can I contact you again so that we can meet up, I felt the need to say that I would have to check with my husband and see when would be a good time (he hadn't gone through the are you married bit so I had room to manoeuvre here). I wonder is George still available, I think I read that he had split up with his girlfriend recently. Mmmmmmmmm